Not blowing my own trumpet

In music lessons back in High School, we had to choose an instrument to learn. I chose the trumpet. I wasn’t fully sure why, maybe it was because my dad loved jazz and the big band sound, or maybe it was because the violin looked really hard to play.

I had a lesson each week with a trumpet teacher who would come in to the school. After each enjoyable half hour was up, I’d pack the trumpet back into its case. In my head I visualised myself practising when I got home. The long and the short of it is….I NEVER did. Not even once. The trumpet would sit in its case until the next weeks lesson.

Being told to do it?

My friend Steve got really good at trumpet. I know he practiced, because he said his mum made him do it, even though he didn’t enjoy it that much. Whereas my mum just left me to it. If I wanted to practice I could, if I didn’t, well I just didn’t have to. Steve eventually gave up playing, my guess being that his mum finally gave up nagging him to practice.

I used to beat myself up for not practicing, and then lying to the teacher saying that I had practiced (I’m sure he knew I hadn’t). But only over 30 years later have I worked out why I didn’t practice, and here it is…

I didn’t know HOW to practice. I had discovered WHY I wanted to do it. I wanted to be able to call myself a musician to my friends, and be able to enjoy playing. I knew WHAT my goal was. To be good enough to play in a band.

 Brute force isn’t enough

I wasn’t aware that I needed to connect my WHY to my WHAT, by my HOW. That is, to create a daily habit, a practice ritual. A foolproof process needed to be thoughtfully and consciously designed. I was never going to get by through short-term tools like Motivation, Self-discipline, and Determination.

Back then in the 80s and up until the end of the century we were only taught about our WHY (our values, purpose, our mission), and our WHAT, largely setting goals and just going for them. We were told to think and dream big, but we weren’t taught that to achieve those dreams we actually had to think small. To make easy small improvements every day to get a little bit better, to get us closer to our goal.

 It’s about Design

So to bring things right up to date, I’m now learning to play the piano….and I am practicing every day. I’ve designed a system to ensure that I do it, and also enjoy doing it. And I can see that I’m progressing towards my goal.

You can design your habits too, they just need the right process to be created by you.

The next step? Take a look at my latest Lightbulb session titled, How to Design a Habit